DCML Explained - Part 6: You Drive Me Right Round

Drive Me Right Round Baby, Right Round

Can I be your chauffeur, baby? Let's make it our first date. Let me drive you around to wherever you want to go. Let me watch you buy food for yourself. Let me watch you eat it in front of me. How does that sound for our first date? Perfect? If so, you're not the guy for me. This entry addresses the following bulleted point on my list:

You want me to drive you around to random stores and don't offer me anything.

So Charles (again named changed) and I had some fantastic phone conversations. Granted, he was a year younger than me but seemed to have great potential. He was a law student, we had witty communications, and he seemed rather intelligent. I could joke around with him, and he was a little rigid, but a little less rigid than your typical law student (kidding... sorta).

I finally agreed to come meet him. I had nothing to do being Jewish on the day after Christmas. He wasn't big on celebrating the holiday so I said how about I come over for a bit. He told me how he needed to go to the store etc., and I said well it's not a big deal, I can give you a lift.

So I drive 35+ minutes into Baltimore and find Charles's apartment complex. He comes out after a few minutes and gets in the car. I suggest the possibility of us getting something to eat since Charles said he wanted to go to 7 Eleven to get food. Often Charles went there to get dinner during exam time. When I suggested the idea of eating out Charles seemed a bit iffy and uncomfortable. I said, alright, fine, we can go to 7 Eleven. So I parked outside and we went in. He hardly held the door behind him when I followed him into the store. He grabbed a sandwich and chips then went to the register. He didn't ask if I wanted anything. I was a bit surprised considering this was our first interaction. With the food in hand, Charles headed towards the door. He again hardly held it open behind him, and I had to catch the door so it didn't shut on my face. I thought we were going to head back but Charles said, "Hey, I want to stop somewhere else." I shrugged and said alright.

I drove a few blocks as instructed by Charles then he has me stop at the liquor store. "Wait in the car," he told me. He says he'll make it up to me for all the driving around. Charles gets out of the car, runs into the liquor store, and comes back holding a back of Smirnoff Triple Black and a brown paper bag of some sort of bottle. I thought perhaps he got the Triple Black for me since it's sort of a girly drink.

I drive back to his complex and we go up to his apartment. He starts to eat his sandwich and chips, and grabs a Triple Black from the 6-pack and uncovers a 40oz beer from the brown paper bag. He begins to eat as I just look at him. He fumbles for something on the TV. He tells me he has to leave soon since his parents are expecting him for dinner. I just stare at him eating and drinking. I mention that I like Triple Blacks. He looks at me awkwardly and says, "Oh. Well if you want you can have one. I'll even get up and get you one." He gestures to the table behind me, about 5 feet (if that) from him. I shrug and tell him not to worry about it.

After about an hour of casual conversation and watching scenes from the Christmas Story on TV, I suggest I need to head home. Charles seemed a bit surprised. He walked me out and asked about when I'd see him again. I made some joke and walked across the street to my car.

Charles kept asking me to hang out but I kept making excuses. Finally I told him I wasn't interested in him. He was quiet at first but then went off attacking me saying how I wasted his time. I let him have his rant and then deleted his contact details.

Definitely not a winner in my book.